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Sen. Byrd's Urinary Tract Has Been Infected
Dateline - Washington, DC, March 6, 2008
Just weeks after suffering a fall in his Virginia home, Sen. Robert Byrd of West Virginia is back in Walter Reed Army Medical Center, suffering from what doctors here have called an "infected urinary tract of some kind."
"We are falling short of calling it a 'urinary tract infection' in a traditional medical sense," said Byrd spokesman Jesse Jacobs, "We believe that it is sufficient to say that Sen. Byrd's urinary tract 'has been' infected, although at this time, we are not able to conclusively determine what has infected Sen. Byrd."
When pressed further on the issue, Jacobs said only that a preliminary examination of Byrd's urinary tract appears to show an infection from "the disembodied spirit of Strom Thurmond". Thurmond, of course, was the legendary Senator from South Carolina with whom Byrd traded duties of President Pro Tempore 5 times between 1989 and 2003, when Thurmond retired from the Senate.
"It appears Mr. Thurmond has taken up residence in the kidneys," explained Dr. Milton Goldman, Byrd's urologist, "Additionally, he appears to have planted a confederate flag at the base of Sen. Byrd's urethera. We are also running tests to determine if he has, in fact, set up a cotton plantation near the bladder area. Further, the Senator is being treated for a priapism, which may be a side effect of the infection."
When asked for comment, Sen. Byrd could only gesture downwards, "I don't know if its any coincidence, but it seems the south may have risen again."
For WNN this is Shrivelled Penis reporting.
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Last Updated: August 5, 2010 Copyright 2010 - Infinity, Waldo News Network. All Rights Reserved.
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