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Mohammed Confesses to Killing Kennedys

Dateline Washington, DC - March 15, 2007

In a shocking revelation made during a military tribunal last week, 9/11 mastermind Khalid Shaikh Mohammed admitted to a slew of other high profile crimes. Among them was the beheading of reporter Daniel Pearl in Pakistan.

"I decapitated with my blessed right hand the head of the American Jew, Daniel Pearl, in the city of Karachi, Pakistan," Mohammed said, "For those who would like to confirm, there are pictures of me on the Internet holding his head. It is on the same site as the pictures of Saddam Hussein's dead sons, and a video of a two women and a goat."

However, the revelations did not end there. Mohammed then went on to describe in gruelling detail a number of other heinous crimes committed directly, or indirectly in his prescence.

"9/11 was my greatest moment, but it was many years in coming. I also planned and loaded the dingy used to explode the infidel war machine Cole...I pulled the trigger and caught the flesh and blood of Robert Kennedy, placing Sirhan Sirhan to take the fall...I was also present on the grassy knoll for the death of his brother," Mohammed said during testimony which lasted almost 4 hours, "Further, I built the barometric sensor used to down the Pan Am flight over Scotland, I fired the missile which downed TWA 800, I planted the bombs which caused so much carnage at the Atlanta Olympics, I have blown up countless abortion clinics around the US, I trained Timothy McVeigh, I assassinated Archduke Ferndinand, I annexed the Sudetenland, I financed the Mahdi Army, and I shot Presdient Lincoln..."

For their part, the family of Daniel Pearl declined judgement.

"It is impossible to know at this point whether Khalid Shaikh Mohammed's boast about killing our son has any bearing in truth," they said. "We prefer to focus our energy on continuing Danny's lifework through the programs of the Daniel Pearl Foundation, which aims to eradicate the hatred that took his life."

US Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, much maligned over his endorsement of aggressive interrogation techniques, heralded the confession as a great success in the war on terror.

"For those doubting the efficacy of our techniques, let today stand as proof that our methods are sound. We have put to rest a number of outstanding mysteries and brought an infamous criminal to task for his crimes. Not only the crimes of 9/11, not only the death of Mr. Pearl, but also the laundry list of other crimes for which this man has confessed."

For WNN this is Yaay Coercion reporting.





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