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British Sailor Confesses to Killing Kennedys

Dateline Iran - March 28, 2007

In a shocking revelation made Iranian Arab-language television today, Leading Seaman Faye Turney admitted to illegally entering Iranian waters when her vessel was boarded by the Iranian Navy on March 23.

Wearing a traditional headscarf, Ldg Smn Turney said that "...we trespassed into their waters. They were very friendly, very hospitable, very thoughtful, nice people. They explained to us why we had been arrested, there was no aggression on their part."

However, the revelations did not end there. In a statement later in the day, Turney then went on to describe in gruelling detail a number of other heinous crimes committed directly, or indirectly in her prescence.

"The gassing of Iranian front lines during the Iraq War was my greatest moment, I also engineered the return to power of the Shah, the further return of Ayatollah Khomeini, the earthquake in Bam, the entire state of Israel was my idea. I pulled the trigger and caught the flesh and blood of Robert Kennedy, placing Sirhan Sirhan to take the fall...I was also present on the grassy knoll for the death of his brother. I shot down Iran Air Flight 655 from aboard the USS Vincennes, exiled Yasser Arafat, assassinated Archduke Ferdinand, bombed Nagasaki, annexed the Sudetenland, and financed the Mahdi Army."

Iranian President Ahmadinejad, much maligned over his antagonistic stance toward the West, heralded the confession as a great success.

"For those doubting the legitimacy of our claims, let today stand as proof that our truth is divine. We have put to rest a number of dissenters and brought infamous criminals to task for their crimes."

For WNN this is Yousee Whatididthere reporting.





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