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Fuck You, Dave

Dateline - Seattle, WA March 30, 2011

Fuckin' ass hole Area man Dave Slydell was laid off today, concluding what his co-workers have called "a pretty useless tenure" as project manager for a small local IT company. It was not his constant absenses, nor his general lack of purpose that has caused some office controversy, however.

"Fuckin' a, dude," said fellow employee Tom Jacks, "He was here for 8 months, and the dude gets 2 weeks notice that he's being laid off, and 12 weeks severance. Its like he's got a 14 week vacation, starting today. Is this on the record? Yes? Fuck you, Dave."

In closing, Jacks added, "seriously, who the fuck gets laid off with notice? Fuck, dude."

Additonally, we found, the Hawaiian shirt and sandals were not just a rebellious statement from a terminated employee, but rather a statement of future plans.

"That motherfucker already has a job offer in Hawaii, he doesn't even need to fucking be here," added another fellow employee Eva Natasha, "He's just taking a bigass check and moving to the island. Is this thing on? Fuck you, Dave."

When asked for comment, Slydell was quoted as saying, "I don't get what the big deal is, I mean, the job doesn't start for a month, so I am gonna be on vacation for a bit. I earned this severance."

For WNN this is Daveseriously Suckmydick reporting.

Last Updated: February 12, 2012
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