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Al Qaeda Confesses to Killing Kennedys

Dateline - Algiers, Algeria April 11, 2007

In a shocking revelation made today, an Al-Qaeda affiliated organization in northern Africa claimed responsibility for a series of blasts which killed 23.

Identifying itself as KALQ, north Africa's #1 choice for Al-Qaeda based terrorism, the organization claimed responsibility for the attacks, the first since a fragile ceasefire ended the civil war which plagued the country in the 1990s.

However, the revelations did not end there. In a statement later in the day, KALQ spokesman Abu Muhammad Salah detailed a list of other operations which have been carried out by the organization.

"9/11 was our greatest moment, but it was many years in coming. We also planned and loaded the dingy used to explode the infidel war machine Cole... We pulled the trigger and caught the flesh and blood of Robert Kennedy, placing Sirhan Sirhan to take the fall...We were also present on the grassy knoll for the death of his brother. Further, we built the barometric sensor used to down the Pan Am flight over Scotland, we fired the missile which downed TWA 800, we planted the bombs which caused so much carnage at the Atlanta Olympics, we have blown up countless abortion clinics around the US, we trained Timothy McVeigh, we assassinated Archduke Ferndinand, we annexed the Sudetenland, we financed the Mahdi Army, and we shot President Lincoln..."

Presidential hopeful John McCain, much maligned over his unwaivering support for the War on Terror, hailed these attacks as a sign that America must continue to wage war against evildoers.

"This attack shows that evil elements still wish to do harm to the peaceful Democracies of the world. Nevertheless, I and my military ground and air escorts will be visiting Algiers to show that peace still reigns, and that the city is safe for everyone. "

For WNN this is Lasttime Iswear reporting.

Last Updated: February 12, 2012
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