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VP Cheney Receives $1.9 million Tax Refund


Dateline Washington, DC - April 14, 2006

Tax time is upon us again, and while the last minute crunch to file ended today, the amazement at the American tax system will continue for months. Indeed while many Americans scrambled to find ways to pay their tax bill, some were reveling in their good fortune and tax refunds.

For one example, take Vice Predient Dick Cheney. Vice President, while a very highly respected post, isn't necessarily as well paid as many other jobs in America, netting a few hundred thousand dollars a year. The Vice President, however, claimed almost $9 million dollars in income for 2005. $6.87 million of which went to charitable donations, leaving $1.9 million dollars in taxable income, and granting the Cheneys a hefty return of another $1.9 million dollars. $3.8 million dollars, not a bad chunk of change.

When asked about his tax return, the Vice President responded, "Go fuck yourself, did you see how much I gave to charity? How much did you fucking give to charity?"

This, of course, prompted the question: Where did this charitable donation come from?

"I know where you're going with this. Go fuck yourself. It came from some stock options that we exercised for charity. So what if those options were mostly on Halliburton and I exercised them because we concocted this illegal war in order to drive up oil profits, and in turn the value of my stock? Its not like I'm doing business with Hitler. This isn't technically war profiteering, its just sound investing. Oh yeah, and go fuck yourself."

War profiteering, who says its immoral? Go fuck ourselves indeed.

For Waldo News this is Whataf Uckingjoke reporting.









Last Updated: February 12, 2012
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