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Lost Remnants of GeoCitian Empire Reveal Coming Apocalypse

Dateline - Sunnyvale, CA April 24, 2009

One of few known photos of the PCM Yahoo! today announced their intention to raze the crumbling ruins of the once-mighty GeoCitian Empire, ending the 15 year run of one of the Internet's first major web communities and silencing a nearly unending string of looping MIDI files. Already, researchers from around the globe are lined up to pick through the remains of this once-great civilization. However, WNN is lucky enough to go beyond the surface, and dig ever-deeper into The Mysteries of GeoCitia.

What we found upon digging deep into the subcaverns of GeoCitia, a region once populated by the denizens of Area51 and its sub-neighborhoods, was nothing short of astounding. As documented elsewhere, the majority of GeoCitians were generous people, who asked each other for money and liked to share their love of the holidays and family pets. However, those who dwelled deep within the cultural underbelly entertained themselves with a much darker magic, ferreting out the conpirators from world government, and even, as we found, suppressing a coming doom so horrific it could not see the light of day. One prophet, in fact, went so far as to leave a warning for future generations. A warning that, with the end of GeoCitia, may be silenced forever.

A simple Google search may not return reference this ominous work, as it is not until one digs deep into the archeological remains of the GeoCitian Empire that they come across this dire prophecy. Scrawled madly on lime green background, in red text, comes a tale one could mistake as being straight from the mind of the Mad Arab, Abdul Alhazrad. However, this is no fictional documentary of long-forgotten Elder Gods, but rather a phtotodocumented testimony of the evil brewing behind our pressed laminate suburban dreamworld.

"PCM's are radio active, and every paperclip eaten by one is transformed into an animate object!! These things are called smodes."

So claims the author of this mysterious tome, The PCM (Paperclip Monster) Page, last updated almost 12 years ago. But while the information contained within may not be current, the presented evidence cannot be refuted. Part of the reason is that most of the photo evidence appears to be forever erased, eternally entombed behind broken image links. The images that are available, hoever, are astounding. Giant monsters gobbling paperclips to grow stronger, and larger. The inevitable conclusion of this will undoubtedly be a confrontation heretofor unseen by man.

They have learned our weapons... "I do believe the PCM-led Smode holocaust is coming," says fellow GeoCitian expeditionary Dr. Blinkytext McTiledgif, "When it arrives, this may be our only hope to stop them."

So while much of the internet is reveling in the death of the GeoCitians, let us heed the warning, that has been blinking since 1997, and recreated here exactly as it was originally written in the hope that it will blink for eternity:


For WNN, this is Donatenow Xfilesfansite reporting.

Last Updated: February 12, 2012
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