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Phil Spector's Hair Absorbs SkyNet


Dateline Los Angeles, CA - April 26, 2006

Mark the time: At 2:14pm Pacific time, April 26th, Phil Spector's hair became self-aware. Just moments after the judge announced a delay in the start of his murder trial, Spector's hair gained consciousness, and began absorbing nearby electronic gadgets. It began with the numerous cellphones in the area, and was still gathering strength as Spector was dragged out of the courtroom admist terrified crowds of onlookers.

The latest update available is that Spector's hair was sighted at Universal Studios, where it had absorbed the T2:3D ride. The National Guard has been called in to monitor the growth of Spector's hair, in case it should at any time endanger national security.

When asked to comment on the situation, National Guard spokesman Lt. John Conner commented, "We do not believe Mr. Spector's hair has hostile intents at this time. However, there is probably not much we could do if it did. I'm only a reservist. I've never even fired a rifle."

One can only hope that Spector's hair doesn't begin popping forth cyborg units bent on eliminating the human race.

For WNN this is Liqui D'metal reporting.







seen this boy?



Last Updated: February 12, 2012
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