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NFL Draft Recap: Pretty Boy Gets Uglied
Dateline New York City, NY - May 2, 2006
In what was supposed to be a day of reckoning and triumph for
the Rose Bowl loser, Matt Leinart was instead winner of the
prestigious "Oh God Take the Camera's Off Him Before He Starts
Crying in the Green Room" award in Sunday's NFL Draft. Instead
of being selected as the #3 pick, after teammate Reggie Bush,
or the #1 pick as he surely would have been last year had he
come out of school, Leinart came at #10, much to his dismay.
The effect of this is that Leinart will lose out on around
$20million in guaranteed money that he would have last year,
plus around $10million per year on the remainder of his contract.
When asked about this, an upset Leinart responded "I just don't
get it, I'm rich, I'm white, 6 foot 5 inches, star quarterback
for the University of Southern California, and the one everyone
wants their daughter to date. Now I'm stuck in Arizona...ARIZONA!
Where's my agent? I should be way ahead of some negro from Texas.
Besides, they aren't even allowed to get an education, right? That's
why he failed the Wonderlic right?"
After hearing the remarks, Young responded "Did you see the way I
kicked the out of USC in the Rose Bowl? It was all me
baby, all me. I'm starring in a reality show with DMX, baby. Straight
thuggin', baby. Cracker boy be trippin'. Now get out of my face
before I have DMX bust a cap in yo' ass."
On a happier note, the city of New Orleans is exstatic to welcome
newly drafted Reggie Bush, the second overall pick, to the city.
New Orleans Saints spokesman Dave Daverson has this to say about their
new star, "Many people don't realize Reggie was also a star for his
high school swim team. When I saw him in the hundred meter butterfly,
I knew we had to have him. There is no way Reggie will be drowning
here in New Orleans. Hell, we could probably have him swim the whole
city to safety next year."
For WNN, this is Dr. C. Sinensis reporting.
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Last Updated: February 12, 2012
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