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Porter Goss Likes the Hoes
Dateline Washington, DC - May 5, 2006
A shocking development in Washington as Porter
Goss, Director of the CIA, has resigned, announcing
his resignation at a press conference earlier today.
"In order to avoid disgracing my post with further
investigations, I am resigning my position as CIA
Director," said Goss, "Mostly because, I like the
hoes."
It seems as though the impending investigation into
improper influence peddling by Republican lobbyists
has claimed yet another victim. What began with the
allegations of improper campaign donations to
Congressman "Duke" Cunningham has now struck the
highest levels of the spy agency.
"Oh, its all true. Me and Dusty [Foggo, #3 at the CIA]
loved the free hoes. There was one time, we had
this one chick in finger cuffs, and Dusty just
rammed his fist in her ass. We got pretty crazy,"
Goss continued, "Hoes and coke, dude. That's what
makes the CIA go 'round."
The implications of Goss' resignation will be earth
shattering for the Agency, which prefers to keep its
internal matters shrouded in secrecy.
In Goss' defense, President Bush added:
"Really in his short time, Porter's been doin' a
heckuva job."
This sentiment was echoed by Jeff Gannon, the former
male prostitute and White House plant reporter. In
an interview with WNN, Gannon said, "Oh yeah, Porter
loved to get freaky. One time in the Oval Office, he
and I started going to town right in front of Karl.
I mean, that was more than one time, but dude liked
it rough. Rove's a freaky one too."
Before leaving, Goss mentioned that he's now free to
pursue his life goal of being a pimp.
For WNN, this is Whereda Hoesat reporting.
Bitch betta have mah money!
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Last Updated: February 12, 2012
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