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Interview with The Goodfella
Dateline San Fransisco, CA - May 9, 2006
Today we are at another brink in sports history. Barry
Bonds is one home run away from tying the lifetime
home run mark of the legendary Babe Ruth, and moving into
second place on the all-time home run list. Amidst all
the hubbub of steroid use, alleged low press coverage due
to racism, WNN's correspondent Dr. C. Sinensis caught up
to the "hero" in the locker room.
DrC.S: "Mr. Bonds, can I call you Mr. Bonds, you are about
to tie the legendary Babe Ruth for lifetime home runs, what
kinds of feelings are you having?"
Bonds: "Tie? You calling me a tie? Am I some sort of article
of clothing here to make your suit match your shoes? Is DAT what
you think I am?"
DrC.S: "Uh, Mr. Bonds, no I was saying you are only one home
run from achieving a legendary milestone and am curious as to
your feelings about such an achievement."
Bonds: "Oh, so now I am 'only one home run'? Am I a measly
little home run here for your amusement? Some insignificant
little event in baseball? Is DAT what you think I am? Huh, Huh?"
DrC.S: "Moving on. Mr. Bonds, there have been a lot of rumors
and allegations into you using steroids and that your statistics
should be asterisked. Any comments?"
Bonds" "Now I'm an asterisk? Some star-shaped article of
punctuation used to denote a reference of omission? Huh, Huh,
is DAT what you think I am? I ain't no asterisk motha fucka!"
DrC.S: "Sir, sir, calm down, please I was just trying get your
input on the alleged steroid use?"
Bonds: "'Calm down', you saying I have some sort of temper problem,
huh, huh, is DAT what you're saying? That I am have some uncontrollable
temper, huh, huh? Is DAT what you're saying? That I can't control my
emotions, huh huh, is DAT what you're saying?"
DrC.S: "No, I meant, no I was just trying to have a conversation with
you, you're doing fine sir, no really."
Bonds: "DATs IT!!!"
*scuffle, punch, beat, kick*
For WNN, this is Dr. C. Sinensis
Dr. C sometimes, I think he may crack under questioning.
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Last Updated: February 12, 2012
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