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Toronto Terrorist Cell Allegedly 'Inspired by Al-Qaeda'



Dateline Toronto - June 4, 2006

The 17 suspects arrested Friday in one of Canada's largest anti-terrorism raids ever, were apparently inspired by Al-Qaeda's violent attacks around the world.

"They appear to have become adherents of a violent ideology, inspired by Al Qaeda," Luc Pardelance, Canadian Security Intelligence Service spokesman, confirmed, "They have not had contact with Al Qaeda, and were all either naturalized or born Canadian citizens, eh. Yet these hosers, we believe were aboot to launch an Al Qaeda-inspired attack, eh."

The men, all members of Islamic "mosques", or holy buildings which many in Al Qaeda have also been known to frequent, were apparently training in terrorist camps north of Toronto with the aim of "furthering terrorist goals", also a known goal of Al-Qaeda operatives.

FBI spokesman Al Q. Aeda added that this was huge win for Canadian anti-terrorist forces.

"Certainly they need to be congratulated for thwarting Al-Qaeda forces on their own soil. Even if these men have never actually spoke to an Al Qaeda operative, it never hurts to sensationalize these arrests by mentioning Al Qaeda. Further, these men attempted to buy over 3 tons of ammonium nitrate. Do you know what Al Qaeda operatives could do with 3 tons of that stuff? Certainly Al Qaeda could blow up almost anything with 3 tons of explosives...Al Qaeda Al Qaeda Al Qaeda."

In response to the news, HizbAllah leader Sheik Hassan Nasrallah was outraged.

"Why is it always 'Al Qaeda Al Qaeda Al Qaeda'? Osama is such an attention whore. I mean, shit man, we've been terrorizing the Middle East since 1982, when bin Laden was in Afghanistan on his little crusade against the Soviets. Why don't we ever get any damn attention?"

Could this be the first sign of a schism in the world of international Islamic terrorism? Only time will tell.

For WNN, this is Heyloo Kal Qaeda reporting.









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