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Toronto Terrorist Cell Allegedly 'Inspired by
Al-Qaeda'
Dateline Toronto - June 4, 2006
The 17 suspects arrested Friday in one of Canada's
largest anti-terrorism raids ever, were apparently
inspired by Al-Qaeda's violent attacks around the
world.
"They appear to have become adherents of a violent
ideology, inspired by Al Qaeda," Luc Pardelance,
Canadian Security Intelligence Service spokesman,
confirmed, "They have not had contact with Al Qaeda,
and were all either naturalized or born Canadian
citizens, eh. Yet these hosers, we believe were
aboot to launch an Al Qaeda-inspired attack, eh."
The men, all members of Islamic "mosques", or holy
buildings which many in Al Qaeda have also been known
to frequent, were apparently training in terrorist
camps north of Toronto with the aim of "furthering
terrorist goals", also a known goal of Al-Qaeda
operatives.
FBI spokesman Al Q. Aeda added that this was huge
win for Canadian anti-terrorist forces.
"Certainly they need to be congratulated for thwarting
Al-Qaeda forces on their own soil. Even if these
men have never actually spoke to an Al Qaeda operative,
it never hurts to sensationalize these arrests by
mentioning Al Qaeda. Further, these men attempted
to buy over 3 tons of ammonium nitrate. Do you know
what Al Qaeda operatives could do with 3 tons of that
stuff? Certainly Al Qaeda could blow up almost anything
with 3 tons of explosives...Al Qaeda Al Qaeda Al
Qaeda."
In response to the news, HizbAllah leader Sheik Hassan
Nasrallah was outraged.
"Why is it always 'Al Qaeda Al Qaeda Al Qaeda'? Osama
is such an attention whore. I mean, shit man, we've
been terrorizing the Middle East since 1982, when
bin Laden was in Afghanistan on his little crusade
against the Soviets. Why don't we ever get any damn
attention?"
Could this be the first sign of a schism in the world
of international Islamic terrorism? Only time will
tell.
For WNN, this is Heyloo Kal Qaeda reporting.
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Last Updated: August 5, 2010 Copyright 2010 - Infinity, Waldo News Network. All Rights Reserved.
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