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Major News Outlets Fined Record $500 Million Each
Over Zarqawi Footage
Dateline Washington, DC - June 8, 2006
In a stunning implementation the the FCC's newly
hardened penalties for broadcast television, all
major cable stations were fined $500 million dollars
for showing the gruesome visage of the deceased
Iraqi terrorist Al-Zarqawi.
"We believe that this repeated display of a bloated,
scarred body is not healthy for American children,"
said FCC spokesman Heylets Makesomesense, "Indeed,
it is putred, grotesque, and should not have been
shown during daytime hours."
The judgement is expected to be appealed by network
executives. CBS spokeman Anything F. Orratings
said in a press conference late thisafternoon:
"Come on, its not like we showed a breast or anything.
We believe that showing children wholesome violence,
especially when presented in the midst of nationalistic
overtones, is healthy, and will lead future generations
to become good, red-blooded, Republican-voting
citizens."
President Bush backed the news outlets in a prepared
statement presented by Tony Snow.
"The White House believes that presenting propaganda
such as this will only serve to perpetuate the war
on terror by granting the insurgents a pubically
displayed martyr. This would be great for American
industry, especially Halliburton. Further, how can
we foster the proper nationalistic environment without
trophy heads shown to our allies and blood-thirsty
Republican base? Therefore, we urge the FCC to reconsider
this fine. I mean really, its not like we beheaded
Nick Berg, or showed a boobie or something."
For WNN, this is Lessviolence Moretittays reporting.
Sadly this didn't happen, but really I think it should
have. -- Waldo
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Last Updated: August 5, 2010 Copyright 2010 - Infinity, Waldo News Network. All Rights Reserved.
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