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Parents Torn Over HPV Vaccine
Dateline Bumblefark, TX - June 10, 2006
With the FDA having approved a new vaccine against
the Human Papilloma Virus, which can cause cervical
cancer among women, a moral debate is raging over
its potential use.
"Well, we raised little Mary Jane to be a good, moral,
God-fearing woman," said John Henry Rotncrotch, 46,
"Now the government wants to come in and make it ok for
her to be a dirty slut."
Indeed, many family groups in America are having the
same debate over this newly approved vaccination.
"Sure, this vaccine could stop 290,000 deaths per year,"
said Ronald Biblethumper of the Family Defense Council,
"but if that means that our daughters are having sex, can
we really pay that price?"
Can America really sustain the onslaught of girls having
sex?
"I mean, certainly our sons should be vaccinated against
this horrible disease," Biblethumper continues, "But to
think that we would be, advocating safer, cleaner,
cancer-free sex for our daughters...the implications of
that are far too scary to imagine."
But really, do the American people want a think tank or
distant organization thinking for them? Shouldn't this
issue be debated on the family level?
"I'll tell you what, I certainly don't want the government
telling me what I can and cannot do to my daughter...for
my daughter I mean," Rotncrotch added, "Maybe cervical
cancer is just God's way of telling you that the only penis
that belongs in your puhsqueeter is your father's."
For WNN, this is Fuckthe Puritanbs reporting.
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