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DHS Keeps Watchful Eye on World Cup 2006
Dateline Munich, Germany - June 14, 2006
Not many Americans enjoy soccer, and even fewer
understand the World Cup, soccer's great world
competition. Among those taking an active
interest in the proceedings, however, is the
Department of Homeland Security.
"Take today's match between Tunisia and Saudi
Arabia," said one DHS spokeman who preferred to
remain anonymous, "Many people would say this
is a match between two also-rans with no chance
of advancing past the group stage. There's more
to it, however, from a DHS standpoint."
Indeed, the lineups for Tunisia vs. KSA looked
as much like a terrorist watch list as they did
a soccer match.
"Look we've got a Mohommad, a Yasser, Al Jaber,
Al Khatami, Al This, Al That," the DHS spokeman
continued, "You know what all these Al's add up
to? Al Qaeda, that's what!"
The exact number of DHS agents in the stands at
the World Cup is unknown, as their identities are
being kept secret citing security concerns. Their
task, however, is anything but.
"Look, any time Muslims congregate, suicide
bombings are never far behind," he added, "It is
our job to make sure that nothing of the sort occurs.
Have you seen the stands at one of these matches?
You can't see anything. Are those flags they are
waving, or AK-47s? Intelligence is key."
With such a crack team of agents, one can only hope
that the World Cup remains a safe, entertaining
competition.
For WNN this is Blatantly Offensive reporting.
Reserved. *tweet* Red card, Waldo *walks off the
pitch*
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Last Updated: August 5, 2010 Copyright 2010 - Infinity, Waldo News Network. All Rights Reserved.
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