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"Floor Humper" Humps His Way to Fox News
Dateline The Internet - June 17, 2006
Its a modern story of acheivement, overcoming adversity
and manipulating one's way to success through viral
internet marketing. Matt Furey, a cult hero among sites
like Fark.com and NewsMax, has built a strength training
empire, and become something of an internet celebrity.
"Well, it all started back when I met a man named Karl,
76 years old, and strong as a bear," Furey relates,
"At that time, I was a young, cocky, gym-conditioned man.
But Karl changed all that.
I remember, he saw me and said, 'Here, do 2000 Hindu Squats,
GO!' I had no idea what a Hindu Squat was, but he showed
me. And years later, demonstrating this powerful maneuver
to my good buddy Jeff Gannon, I could see why Karl was
such a beast that day. My anus hasn't been the same
since Karl unleashed the Hindu Squat on me."
Indeed, Furey's empire started slowly, with 100x100 pixel
animated GIF ads on the right-wing pseudo-news site
NewsMax.com. But that all changed due to the power of
one website known as Fark.com.
"I remember one day there was an article linked on Fark,"
Furey remembers, "And my ad caught the eye of one of their
viewers. It was the ad where I'm illustrating the Hindu
Pushup. Where you lay on the floor on your stomach, legs
spread and back arched. Someone dubbed me the 'Floor
Humper' for this, and the name stuck. Even Jeff [Gannon]
calls me that sometimes when we're doing Duo Hindu Pushups
during training."
But as of a few weeks ago, Furey has hit the big time,
sharing ad space with the likes of Vonage and Ann Coulter
on the front page of FoxNews.com. This giant step up
doesn't seem to phase Furey, who's webpage is still nothing
more than multicolored text that appears to have been
written with a faulty caps lock key.
"Really, I mean, there's not a big difference between Fox
and NewsMax, content or audience-wise," says Furey, "They
both service my target audience: right wing conservatives
who are so out there that they even think the gym is some
kind of liberal conspiracy. But obviously the name 'Fox'
carries a lot more wow-value than 'NewsMax'."
But what does the future hold? Can this man continue
humping his way to internet stardom?
"Right now I'm just enjoying the success. But I can tell
you one thing, I'm certainly going to continue mastering
my own bodyweight and training with my Combat Conditioning
program. Who knows, maybe someday I'll get to go train
with Karl Rove like Jeff does."
For WNN this is Gotta Lovethat reporting.
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Last Updated: May 20, 2011 Copyright 2011 - Infinity, Waldo News Network. All Rights Reserved.
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