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G8 Summit Roundup: Let's Beat a Dead Horse!
Dateline Russia - July 18, 2006
Having already been probed, satired, and made a cliche
by now, the G8 Summit came to a merciful close today as world
leaders headed home, some of them flying up to "eight hours"
across what one world leader termed "really big" countries*.
Quite honestly, this reporter has very little idea what was
actually accomplished at the G8 Summit, held as Israel and
Lebanon are on the brink of wiping each other off the map.
We do, however, know that President George Bush couldn't help
but be the life of the party, and beg the question, "Is he
back on the nose candy and liquid medicants?"
Upon returning home, the President faced tough questions from
the White House Journalist Pool regarding his conduct at the
summit, which ranged from telling British Prime Minister Tony
Blair that Hizballah needed to "cut this shit out" to giving
German Chancellor Angela Merkel and impromptu shoulder massage.
"Hey folks, remember why you voted for me," said Bush, "I'm
the guy who couldn't pronouce the name of foreign leaders,
remember? You all said foreign policy smarts and book
learnin' weren't important. What did you honestly expect?
I'm the guy who writes potty notes to Condoleeza at the
UN."
In regards to the Merkel question, Bush was very direct.
"I wasn't giving her a shoulder rub, I was trying to choke
a bitch," he responded, "She was trying to say that our
unwavering support of Israel was misguided, and I merely had
to show her that she needed to cut that shit out."
However, Bush's toughest critic may come from the fringes of
his own party, in response to his comments about UN involvement
in the growing Israel/Lebanon crisis.
"Fer 6 years now, he's been tellin' us that to get the US out
of the UN, and that the UN ain't no gud," said one Texas State
Senator, "Now he says he wants dat nigro Kofi to send Amurican
kids over there on a UN mission. I dunno, but that sounds
mighty fishy ta me."
Indeed, most of what he says sounds fishy to us all.
For WNN this is Datnigro Kofi reporting.
* - I'll give ya one guess who it was...
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