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President Bush Vetoes Stem Cell Funding Bill


Dateline Washington, DC - July 19, 2006

Using the first veto of in his five and a half years as President, George W. Bush today killed a bill which would have expanded federal funding for embryonic stem cell research. Flagged by a number of families with adopted stem cell children, who have recently been referred to as "snowflakes", Bush spoke to supporters just before the action this afternoon.

"Each of these children began his or her life as a frozen embryo...Each of these children were adopted while they were still an embryo...These boys and girls are not spare parts," Bush said to a standing ovation from onlookers in the East Wing, "They remind us that we all begin our life as a small collection of cells...and they remind us that we should not abandon our fundamental morals..."

Which fundamental morals would those be? Bush elaborated.

"Each embryo that we destroy for use in embryonic stem cell research robs us of the opportunity to bring forth another child. A child that could grow up in a family, and could, quite possibly, one day become yet another solider to fight against Al-Qaeda and Hezballah. That could one day give their life to fight in the War on Terror. So you see, supporting embryonic stem cell research helps the terrorists. It makes them stronger, and makes us weaker. So I vetoed the bill. Thank you, and God bless America."

He also gave nod to Senators Rick Santorum, and Sam Brownback, vehement opposers of the research, and authors of the Fetus Farming Prohibition Act, which aims to bring an end to the act of fetus farming for scientific research.

"I thank the President for using his veto powers on this bill," Santorum said in remarks after the press conference, "In the future, I hope to present even more images drawn by 3rd grade students to drive home my points on the Senate floor. Really, I don't see why the American public does not understand this issue, as I do, and as the 3rd grade students I have talked to around my home state do."*

Indeed, I know I will sleep morally sound tonight, knowing that our President and elected representatives, take their keys on domestic science policy from 3rd graders.

For WNN this is Fingerpainting Onthesenatefloor reporting.









* - no shit. Santorum actually used a flipchart of images drawn by a 3rd grader to prove that life begins at conception...the video is out there on the web.


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